Before the Internet, the world of the literary agency was like a secret little room somewhere far away to which very few held the key. I was constantly seeking the back door.

I attended writer’s conferences where agents spoke on panels and I paid extra for one on one critique time. I practiced my pitch, the long one, the elevator one, the one I might yell in an agent’s ear over shots in the bar. I subscribed to magazines like Writer’s Digest, Poets and Writers, and Publisher’s Marketplace. I bought Writer’s Market and Jeff Herman’s Guide Book every year. I made friends with novelists who had agents that I admired. I yearned for the day when I would say those coveted words, “My agent…”

Sure, I knew all those stories, of how the NY Times Best Selling author was rejected by 59 agencies before some sad underling at some no name agency picked his work out of the slush pile and with Mocha Lattes and a prayer, made him a star!

Seriously?

And always, always, there was the author I loved to hate. The one whose story went
something like this: “I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn’t even finished the book yet, butI wrote a letter and mailed it off and two days later, while I was breastfeeding my cherubic infant, the telephone rang and it was none other than Mrs. Super Agent praising my work and begging me to sign with her.”

Sigh.

Let me tell you right now. That isn’t normal. And that probably won’t happen to you.
What will happen to you? You will type a bunch of beloved author names into a Google search, followed by the word agent. You will then browse his/her website, read their bio, see their recent sales, blow up their photograph and look into their eyes, trying to see if you can see compassion, perhaps kindness. And when you find some tiny little common ground- Oh, he’s from Arizona, like me. Oh, she loves Malaysian Midget Wrestling, like me. Oh, look we both own bulldogs. You will use that knowledge to open the door a crack. You will have so many query letter and names and versions of you and of your manuscript going around that you will need a complicated spreadsheet, your kid’s old science notebook, or a hot pink three inch binder with colored separators, to keep track of it all. Or maybe you will use this service: Query Tracker. You will be discouraged. You will get more rejections than that year in high school. You will begin to drink again, if you had ever stopped. You will light candles in cathedrals, feng shui your office and consider flying to New York City so you can bump into someone at Elaine’s.

You will bookmark this page and begin peppering everyday conversations with the terms, genre, query, submission, manuscript, sometimes adding rejection, slush pile, and over the transom.

You might want to give up. Don’t. Because,  love literary agents or hate them, every successful writer has one. Your agent is your business representative, a necessary part of the industry. Remember one thing, after all of this trouble to get a literary agent?

They work for you.

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photo credit: Jo and Paul