From our lead workshop instructor Steven James and his book, Troubleshooting Your Novel, here’s a fresh way to look at that scene that might not be working. Let’s talk about ORIENTATION.

You’re walking home late one night when two men leap out of the shadows, pull a hood over your head, and shove you into a van.

You can’t see anything, and as the vehicle takes off, though you sense movement and hear hushed voices, you don’t know how many people are in there with you, what they look like, or what they want. When you demand that they tell you what’s going on, their only reply is silence.

At last, the van stops, you hear the door open, and a man grabs your elbow and leads you outside.

“Alright,” he says. “It’s time.”
Someone yanks off the hood.
Now—what happens?
If you’re anything like me, you’d immediately scan the area and take in as much as you can, as quickly as you can, to identify where you are and what danger you might be in. Who’s there? What do they look like? Did they bring you to your house for a surprise party? Did they take you to a deserted warehouse to torture you? Are you in a parking lot? On an isolated country road? What do you smell? Hear?

When readers skip to (or scroll to) the rest page of your book, the hood comes off. Based on word of mouth and the book’s title, they might have a vague idea of what your story is about, but they need you to orient them here, at the start, when you tug off the hood.

Readers need to know (1) who they’re supposed to cheer for or against, (2) what threats are present, (3) why the story’s outcome matters, and (4) if they can trust you with their time. They need to be able to picture the scene, care about the outcome, and meet characters that they find intriguing and will want to spend time with.